This week, we’re really getting into the meat of Jordan’s suffering. In Chapter 2, I describe how he suffered colic with around-the-clock screaming for the first 6 months of his life.

It is interesting to me that I just saw a patient this week with the same issues with her baby. Chronic high-pitched screaming, and constipation so bad in her breastfed 2 month old that it felt as if the mustard-like grainy stool was being squeezed through a kinked hose while her baby pulled up her knees writhing in pain.

When she asked me if this was her fault or somehow related to the Hep. B vaccine she was guilted into giving to her day-old newborn, my eyes filled with tears. After a dozen years, these kinds of questions still hit me right in the solar plexus like a punch of undischarged anger at my core.

Participating with my patient’s suffering like this takes me right back to when infant Jordan had suffered the exact same condition.

Although I had felt precisely the same as my patient, the internet was not what it is today, and I had no access to a community of like-minded parents to draw on for support, nor the access to any information illuminating issues such as the gut-brain connection to the vaccines. The consciousness of all of this wasn’t developed in the alternative therapists that I’d met, either.

This week, you’ll learn how, at the time, the specialist at the top children’s hospital in Canada actually suggested putting my son on medication for the rest of his childhood, “as some boys just seem to suffer this way.”  No diagnosis or prognosis was forthcoming. I was determined to suss out the root cause. What could it be?

I was so exhausted and spent, that some days my husband would leave for work and he’d kiss my tear-streaked cheeks goodbye while I held a wailing baby Jordan in my arms. I felt wrung out and lifeless. I knew I needed to resolve this for both Jordan and I, but how?  At the time, the issues felt insurmountable. Who or what could help both he and I?

Knowing what I now know, one of my biggest regrets was in allowing Jordan’s ritual circumcision to take place — especially now that I’ve had over 20 years to ruminate and research on this topic.  I recall that day when the Mohel (Rabbi who performs ritual circumcision) was due to arrive, saying to my Mother-in-law that I just didn’t feel comfortable with it.  I was still so sick with the infection in my wound that I felt myself talked into it with the agreement that I’d be able to nurse Jordan the moment the procedure was done.  While we cleared this trauma event later on, using the appropriate homeopathic remedies, I sure wish my foresight had been 20/20.

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